Fate

Everything is perfect. It's how you make it out to be.

More questions

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1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? Yeps, he meant it.
2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? I only like people who are the same age as me. Not older, not younger, just born in 1993.
3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time? Yesterday, Javis said I cooked too much pasta for the both of us.
4. Would you ever smile at a stranger? I would.
5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? Nah, it’s been over two years. If there is, that someone needs to search for a higher purpose.
6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? No.
7. What exactly are you wearing right now? Famine camp t-shirt and black FBTs.
8. How often do you listen to music? Whenever I feel like it.
9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? FBTs, haha.
10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013? This is an old post.
11. Are you a social or an antisocial person? Social. I’m a Carlsberg, hahaha.
12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’? On the cheek.
13. What about ‘R’? No.
14. Can you drive a stick shift? No, I can’t. Too much of a loser to go for that.
15. Do you care if people talk badly about you? No.
16. Are you going out of town soon? If December is considered soon, haha.
17. When was the last time you cried? Last Friday when Mireille showed me horribly touching comic. Both of us teared.
18. Have you ever told someone you loved them? Yes. I think people should know.
19. If you could change your eye color, would you? I would. Greenish blue.
20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for? Yeah.
21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having. When I was about the pay, I was 25 cents short and the cashier doesn’t accept NETS.
22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? It is.
23. Are you dating the last person you talked to? I am.
24. What are you sitting on right now?My marbled floor.
25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? Yes.
26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? No, I haven’t.
27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? Javis.
28. Do you get a lot of colds? I don’t.
29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from? From Famine Camp!
30. Does anyone hate you? I hope not.
31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room? I don’t.
32. Do you like watching scary movies? I hate them.
33. Do you want your tongue pierced? No. I like eating too much.
34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? 2006.
35. Did you have a dream last night? Nope.
36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? Yesterday.
37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? No.
38. Do you think someone has feelings for you? Yes.
39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? He better be.
40. Did you have a good day yesterday? I did. It was the best day and the month has just started.
41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? Yep.
42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl? I won’t, haha.
43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Yep.
44. What’s the best part about school? The computer labs.
45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? I do.
46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? I did.
47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? I do.
48. Were you single over the last summer? No.
49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?I make sure I have time for myself now.
50. What are you supposed to be doing right now? My Stats assignment.
51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? I don’t.
52. Are you nice to everyone? I am.
53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Javis, hahaha. He was annoyinf when I first met him.
54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? Yes I can.
55. Are you good at hiding your feelings? I’m not. It’s not healthy anyways.
56. Do you think you like someone? I love someone.
57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’? Er, yeah, HAHA.
58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? Girls. Boys take things too lightly and I like to have long deep talks about my problems.
59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry? Yeah. I’m a cry baby.
60. Do you hate anyone? I don’t.
61. How’s your heart? It’s calm.
62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? Yep.
63. Have you ever cried over a guy? I have.
64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? I don’t know hahaha.
65. Are your toenails painted pink? It’s not.
66. Will your next kiss be a mistake? It won’t be.
67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct? Yes! Haha. I love it when they don’t act tough.
68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public? No.
69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with? My mom.
70. How do you look right now? Comfortable but horrible looking.
71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around? I do.
72. Can you commit to one person? Yes.
73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? Yep.
74. Have you ever felt replaced? I think so? Okay, no.
75. Did you wake up cranky? I don’t. I wake up fresh.
76. Are you a jealous person? I am, lol. Don’t mess with me.
77. Are relationships ever worth it? Of course
78. Anyone you’re giving up on? Trying not to give up on.
79. Currently wanting to see anyone? Yes.
80. Name something you have to do tomorrow? Party prep.
81. Last person you cried in front of? Mireille.
82. Is there someone you will never forget? Yes.
83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? Yeah.
84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? Watching Harry Potter.
85. Are you over your past? Yes. I looked at it in the eye and walked away.
86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex? Nope. Best friends should just stay as they are.
87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? Yep.
88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? I accept the apology but not a relationship, haha.
89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? Of course.
90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? No, I don’t.
91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months? I would.
92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael? No, haha.
93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew? No.
94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going? I was. It was going great because that was our 1.5 year old mark.
95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March? Yes.
96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? Yes.
97. Who do you have texts from? I can’t type out that many names.
98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? That never happened before but hmmm, I guess I’ll be like “Okay.” His happiness over mine, right?
99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? A few months, yes.
100. Who’s in your profile picture with you? Mandy.
101. Ever kissed under fireworks? Have I??? I don’t think so.
102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies? Yes.

I had a lot of fun doing this actually, haha.

Written by Denise

September 2, 2014 at 8:22 pm

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After us.

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I just had to post this up, haha. Wongfu is super underrated (they only have 2 million subscribers?!?!?!). They make amazing short drama series and I love everything from the message of the video, the videography, the voices.. I have loved them since I saw Strangers, Again (it’s another godly video about the stages of a relationship). I really wish they they will make it big in this world because really, more people should take notice of them.

This is the stages after a break up. It’s so relatable, lol. I would say I am not as lucky to have been a dump-er. I was always the dump-ee. I took both relationships I had in the past really seriously so when the break ups happened, it really feels like someone tore out your heart and you would rather die. You wish the sun doesn’t rise so you don’t have to get up and face everything. It’s a very bad pain. Not the worst pain in the world, but really painful.

I have friends who are lucky to never suffered a heart break but it’s what you learnt the most from. I actually feel sorry for them (okay so they aren’t really lucky) because break ups are really what help you grow and wise up. Knowing that the first person you love isn’t actually the one you are going to end up with, that you can do so much better, learn from the mistakes and be even better in the next relationship.

I have lots of confidence that I won’t be experiencing a break up again. Although, I know that life is unpredictable. If it is predictable, we wouldn’t be growing as a person, would we?

I’m a Victoria Park fan now.

Written by Denise

August 31, 2014 at 7:33 pm

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It has to be meaningful

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Isn’t this the cutest tissue pack cover?! I like tissue pack covers because they make me want to bring tissues out more and I am such a man when it comes to bringing tissues that I don’t bring them out at all. I got my first one at Yaxun’s internship place when Janelle and I went to visit her! I had this white one with gold at the rims of the opening. It’s made by the elderly and it’s super pretty! So I don’t only love it but it’s meaningful.

And I lost it.

I was so sad but then I got over it because life is just going to move on whether or not you get through it so might as well get through it (I don’t know how it just turn into a life quote). So my next tissue pack cover will be full of meaning as well and it must be perfect just like the old one!

Javis and I was at Westgate yesterday and they had this fair where the people with disabilities and low income people come together and sell their things. Mostly handmade. It’s always more costly than anywhere else but it’s definitely worth it. This couple had this range of tissue pack covers like “Choped” and others that I have forgot but it is those singlish slangs for “reserved” because there was a time when using tissue packets to reserve seats at the hawker centres was popular. It occurs lesser now but I believe that there are still people who do that. In one way you can say they are selfish but in another way, it is a way of making sure you have a seat for lunch. Majority of Singaporeans like to make sure of everything, feel secure. It’s either black or white. No gray lines (will that seat still be empty when I get back?) because it annoys the shit out of us.

Okay, to continue to story, this other table is also selling tissue packets but not as witty as these covers and it’s by this girl with disabilities. Another thing is I don’t think doing things out of sympathy is very nice. You don’t do it ‘cos you want to help but more of that sight makes your heart ache which is wrong, to me. They are trying to do business so what makes them any different. I try not to do things out of sympathy but of course there are exceptions. So I told myself that I am not going to buy the tissue pack cover from that girl out of sympathy but get something I want. It’s like, shopping at an actual store; comparing clothes from Cotton On and H&M.

I got a rabbit rubber band from that girl though because I’ve always wanted one and the other stores aren’t carrying it so yay! Notice that it is not out of charity. You don’t buy from Cotton On for charity.

Charity is fine but not for businesses. I buy tissues from the elderly only if I run out of tissues, lol. If I do it out of sympathy then I, myself can open a tissue business.

Written by Denise

August 23, 2014 at 12:24 pm

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2 topics.

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2 relationship problems that has so many facets you can look at it from different points so here are some of my views. Er, if you disagree it’s alright because like I said, there are a lot of ways to look at it.

Patching after a break up.

I’m the kind that believe a break up is break up. There is no turning back. I fight for my relationships but just for the first few days or weeks. Then, I know I deserve better and shouldn’t be grovelling at some guy’s feet to take me back. Lol, the most annoying part about couples who does this is they count their monthsaries like the parts where they are on a break are counted. I have this friend who said, “We are together for two years but if you count all the break ups, it’s probably only about 1.5 years.” I like it, it’s honest. But okay, I get that you can’t say that to everyone you meet, like, he probably told me that because we are close. All these little things count to me so a break up just ruins the timeline, the whole thing. It’s such a mess. If a break up is decided by one party then what is the point of turning back. I’ve heard of cases where a couple broke up and got back together but they started timing on the day they got back together. That’s courage I think, lol.

On the other hand, it is a waste of the time you two had together but hmmmm, it is courage. Okay, I don’t have a say in other people’s relationships, lol.

Cheating.

Going to take the unpopular stand and say that cheating involves all 3 people and that the couple has a lot to be blamed. So A, B and C okay. The letters are unisex. A and B are together and C comes in between. I know this story where C and B started to like each other and C was feeling bad about all the feelings but B was like, “If A and me didn,’t have cracks, you wouldn’t have been able to come in even if you tried.” When I heard it I was, “that is so cool (and true).” Then A will blame C but probably A isn’t that good as a partner or B wouldn’t have went to C right? But it’s normal to hate C. C shouldn’t even make any moves and it’s only normal for all the hate to be on C because A loves B and it’s impossible to hate B. B is also at fault too, duh. How can you give into the temptation??? If B didn’t do anything do you think C would want to be with B? It takes both hands to clap man. So this whole thing is a push and pull effect. A’s effort in the relationship pushed B and C was pulling B so according to physics (?) B will go to C. Then A realizes the presence of C and starts to pull but it’s too late. Well, yeah, A pushed B but usually, A isn’t aware that they are pushing B and it sometimes, takes a break up to know that. I’ve seen miracles happen, though.

I’ve never been cheated on but I’ve heard stories and watched tons of tv! In American sitcoms, everybody cheats on everybody.

This brings me to dramas. Lets take Fated To Love You for example (super good Taiwan drama that I have loved to death). Xin Yi is actually the third party instead of Anna so why is everybody rooting for Xin Yi and Cun Xi to be together? Everybody keeps blaming Anna for coming in between but helloooooo, it’s Cun Xi’s fault? But the producers made the whole story in a way that you cannot blame Cun Xi and Xin Yi for discovering each other. However, Xin Yi and Cun Xi were like the best couple in the history of Taiwan dramas (just exaggerating I have so many other favourite couples) so B discovering C is not such a bad thing too. Oddly, as much as people hate it, sometimes, C is the true love. Anna keeps dancing and forgets about Cun Xi so Anna isn’t exactly a victim. Hmm, now that I look at it, B is probably more of a victim. Okay all three are victims. Anna reflected but why does she need Xin Yi’s presence to wake up? Low self awareness?

I’m a loser who sits on the fense, okay.

This for you to read and get a new perspective. I love reading new perspectives because it makes everything fairer and yeah, I don’t stand on sides. This leads me to another story that I will share soon.

Written by Denise

August 21, 2014 at 10:20 am

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Favourite songs at the moment.

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Here are some of the songs I have been obsessed with in August. For me, because life throws me sweets, I try to find sadness in things like music, tv shows and books. Seems disturbing and weird but when life gives you candy all the time, you sort of want to taste the lemons and there are little ways to taste lemons. Of course, I enjoy the sweets as well. Okay okay, I need to rephrase. It’s not that life throws me candy all the time, I get lemons too but I turn them into lemon sweets!

The first song is Rude by MAGIC!.

I think it’s super cute and sweet. Love that has been denied by parents but both of them are still going to marry each other anyway. A friend cried really badly while listening to this song and that’s the sadness I feel in Rude. This is on repeat right now because Keegan kept singing it at the party and it got me hooked. It is catchy.

This is I  Like That by Before You Exit.

It’s a band of three brothers and they are amazing. The youngest brother is born in 1998 and people have to stop judging people who are out in this industry at this age. They are making even more money than you without even finishing high school?! Even if they are famous for their faces, not like they chose not to be good looking. Thankful to Nadhirah for the introduction. I love their music. I’m not only an all rounder in tv shows, I’m an all rounder in music as well, -flips hair. Just because you are into indie doesn’t mean you have to hate mainstream songs. Okay this is getting out of topic.

This song is about the chase in a relationship. It’s about confessing and just loving everything about them! It super sweet and cute! For reasons, my phone keeps shuffling to this song after every maybe 2 or 3 songs. Lucky me.

Another favourite song from Before You Exit, Soldier!

It’s about being there for you through the tough times. I was so addicted to it I think it was on repeat for about a week. It was madness.

错的人 by Elva.

For the people who was blinded by love. You knew that loving that person was wrong; you got hurt repeatedly but you still held on to that hope that he/she is the one. A friend sang this song with so much emotions because she went through it. Songs help me feel what people feel.

想听的话 by 石欣卉 and 王建复.

This song is just soothing and sad. It reminds me of dance because the seniors danced to a track from this album. A friend cried while while listening to this song too.

I tried my best to shorten it because if there is too much, it would not be as exclusive as it should be.  New and old songs for everyone!

Written by Denise

August 19, 2014 at 1:16 am

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Turkey ham wrap with cheese.

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The father, sister and I went out for breakfast at Zion Riverside food centre this morning at about 9am. I needed to get something from Great World City really badly. Psst, Kaiyan, you know what it is. It’s an upcoming project in memory of someone.

Came home and my mom got really excited to make wraps and my sister, who has a bottomless pit for a stomach,  started making some.

I would have definitely enjoyed it more if it was chicken breast instead of turkey ham and if the cheese was melted. Denise does not partake in such healthy activities even though she totally should.

I have so much in my mind I want to blog about. I would have tons of thought vomits if the mobile app of WordPress allows me to toggle my publicize settings. Hmm, I guess I shall start now and schedule them for the next few days.

It’s 2 assignments and a quiz due this week!!! I can do this!

Just came back from a party and it’s one of the intimate kinds which I guess I kind of like? I went to one in February and I only said 2 sentences to the host because she had too many friends over! So, it’s a house party. Waiyee and me did up the party decorations and the guest book with Minjia’s mom, who is a joy to be with. I love her kind of humour. I miss secondary school so much afterwards. Most of us only left at 11.20. According to Waiyee, I think we left at 11.30-11.40.

I’ll have an intimate house party one day. I’ll DIY all the decorations and make the food. Goodnight everyone.

Written by Denise

August 17, 2014 at 1:15 am

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They deserve some love

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My plaid Vans that I bought x years ago but I only started wearing them about a year later. Production should have ceased by now.

It’s midweek and things are looking better than ever.

Some words from my lecturer while on the topic of depression.

Lecturer: “Regret and guilt lock people from moving forward. They wish they can make the past different. They make themselves angry over something they can’t change and it’s a long journey to acceptance.”

Written by Denise

August 13, 2014 at 10:49 pm

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