Driving

You made me drive the past few days. Probably the most life threatening thing I have done for awhile. A slight mistake could get us both killed,

and I make mistakes.

I created scenes of my mistakes going the worst way possible. I mean, what else could I do. I would lose the person that mattered most.

Every driving episode had me in shambles at the end.

But there are some things I like when I drive with you beside.

You singing your heart out and you touching the back of my head every now and then.

I like those.

It calms me.

A little goes a long way

We spent the rest of the afternoon trying to watch a movie. You said I’d fall asleep but I assured you that you would be the one to fall asleep first.

And you did.

I went from lying on my front to sitting up because I preferred it that way. That way, my hair doesn’t fall onto my face.

You woke up after an hour but you went back to sleep with a hand on my leg.

You made us feel like wires.

I continued with my show and you shifted ever so slightly.

So I placed my hand on your leg.

Thoroughly connected, we are.

How I came to miss you

Here is to all the years we spent without each other. 22. Or should I say 21, since we were friends before. How did you make me feel as if all the other years were spent searching for you?

Here is the to time we spent as friends. Clicking instantly. We were the same kind of people anyway, the way we interact. If we were liquid, we’d be coke and water. Not exactly the same but largely. Don’t think I’d need to continue to us being different types of air.

 

Here is to the time I continued to wear my heart on my sleeve and you did not likeΒ it. If I didn’t, we wouldn’t be here today.

Here is to the times you reached for my hands first.

Here is to the times when words weren’t enough for us. I needed to be around you.

Here is to the time you decided I was enough for you.

Here is to the times you loved me with everything.

Here is to the time spent loving you.

And here is to the times spent missing you. Including now.

Your heart is safe

with me.

Click my fingers

Hi all. Guess who has time to blog!!! I actually opened the dashboard at about 1pm but I’m only starting at 5.50.

I had ice cream and went to a farmer’s market. They were selling XL clams and super fresh oysters! That got me pretty stoked because I have yet to see these kind of markets in Singapore, selling not only artsy stuff but farmed seafood! It reminded me of the time I went to one of the farmers market back in Vancouver and we bought a bag of live clams! So you put them in salt water so they will spit out the sand in them and also stay fresh and alive. Sam them went on and cooked clam spaghetti vongole! Fresh seafood is always amazing.

Yep, i mentioned they were selling fresh oysters as well. I had pretty bad experiences with oysters so I stay away from them. I’ve never had fresh ones though and am waiting for my chance to go to Australia to try them. I didn’t know Singapore had fresh ones that did not cost me an arm to try.

So they are called Sea Farmers @ Ubin! The woman there convinced me that fresh oysters really taste super different! They do not have the fishy taste (that Shilin’s mee sua has). So Kenny being pretty experienced with oysters, squeezed some lime and a few drops of tabasco sauce on them. We got 2 “Sweetheart” and 1 “Rockstar” oysters for $10. It entered my mouth and the deal was sealed.

I love oysters.

I am guessing I would love them as much as I love clams. Although I love the texture of clams more but hey, it’s a new addition. Now I can proudly say I love oysters!

Now it is time for a nap. I miss naps. Anybody miss naps? I do. So so much.

“Baby, come here.”

-Drives to the shelter-

“I can walk from there. It’s just drizzling.”
“Omg, no. What if you fall sick from that!”

“It’s 7 months. What if something happens to us until then?”
“If anything happens to us in the middle,Β then we will talk it out. On the plane too. We have 5 hours. We will have settled it by the time we reach.

On growing up and love

Whilst ending that post, I really want to get into another topic but I didn’t want it to put it all in a post. It’s too wordy.

Growing up means, the expectations of what you want in a partner changes. Instead of just pure attraction, you start to find someone you can live with. Someone who can take care of you, build a family. It’s more of like, finding someone to get through the phases of life with. You want to find someone with money, a stable income so you won’t have to worry about having no money in the future. It gets more and more conditional as we get older. Blind dates are selected based on physical attributes from the face, to the job. Arranged marriages as well. You need to be of a certain calibre before you can get introduced.

I’ve been thinking about it since secondary school. I thought how sad it would be if I found someone based on how he can take care of me instead of really falling in love with that person. I liked secondary school. It was based simply on attraction, everything else that comes with is a bonus.

The face matters because it affects the face of your child. The money matters because you don’t want to struggle in the future. The status matters because you want a good reputation.

It’s all about you, not just about love anymore. It’s about how you are going to survive. You don’t look with your heart but with your eyes.

I understand that reality smacks us in the face every now and then and causes pure love to run out but I still seek for the innocence of it.

But I found it in you. We could both be blindfolded, knowing nothing but our voices, and I’d still fall for the way you make me laugh, how hard it is for you to express yourself and the weird way you eat your food. Nothing else matters other than what I feel for you.

So even after the blindfolds come off, I’d love you all the same.

Life

I’ve settled down to a life of wanting to die after 10pm and it gets easier and easier, surprisingly. How easy it is to fall into a routine and it’s actually a comfortable one. The old me who had plenty of time to sleep and take naps during the day, felt taken aback every time she meets her friend at about 7 and they wanted to leave at 9 plus. I was like, “Just two hours?! Really?”

Now I get it.

The body wakes up really early now. I’m usually contented with 2 meals because if you wake up around 9 or 10, brunch will suffice. Now I need breakfast, lunch and dinner. Not sure about supper but I know I need all three meals now. If I skip breakfast, I’ll feel extremely famished when lunch time comes around. Lunch time actually feels like a mood booster now instead of just a meal. However, my tummy isn’t accustomed to breakfast yet. I remember having a cup of milo at about 8am and my stomach felt queasy. It cannot be that I’m allergic to dairy (although now thinking about it, I haven’t been drinking milk. The dairy I regularly take are all ice cream and cheeses. Mostly ice cream) so it’s probably just the whole waking up Β and eating too early.

I don’t dread a day like that anymore. I used to keep pushing away the time to get into a full time job routine; pushing away growing up. Life forces you to grow up whether you want it or not. I can’t keep living like I’m 18 all the time.

So here is to most of my friends who have already fell into this routine, fallen, have yet to enter this cycle, I wish you all the best.