Glad

I feel liberated. I haven’t felt this way in quite a long time. I’m back to feeling contented.

I have a job interview tomorrow so wish me luck. Don’t ask me about it because chances are that I’ll have failed it, haha.

Take heart by The Sam Willows

The Sunday Currently Vol. 21

Too lazy to edit any pictures so it will be just words, today.

R e a d i n g
Whiskey, words, and a shovel by R. H. Sin. I think his work is all over tumblr? IT’S TOO EXPENSIVE TO BUY ONLINE. But Sam got her friend to buy it back from the States, hee hee, yay.

L i s t e n i n g
Descendants of the Sun’s OST HAHA. It’s so bomb.

T h i n k i n g
I don’t think we’re friends. Friends aren’t like that.

W i s h i n g
Nothing ‘cos I just walked 5km, yay. I mean, if that isn’t an achievement for me, I don’t know what is.

L o v i n g
I can’t think of anything, omg.

H a t i n g
Feelings. I don’t know, when negative feelings enshrouds you, it’s never nice. I used to dwell in it so much because I rarely experience bad emotions and I want to just soak in it a tad longer than others but now, I just want to get out.

W a n t i n g
Sleep. I didn’t get much sleep today.

F e e l i n g
Negative. I HAVEN’T BEEN SO NEGATIVE IN SUCH A LONG TIME, DAMN.

W a t c h i n g
Descendants of the Sun. Have yet to watch the last episode because I am watching it with a friend and omg both of us are so busy. Or he just sucks.

M i s s i n g
Sleep.

Edit: Okay I don’t think I am feeling negative at all? Just uncertain. I don’t like feeling uncertain about things. 

Feed me

(december 10th)

Let me see the things you hid
from everyone else
strip away all your barriers
feed me your essence
feed me your soul
feed me your truth.

—R. H. Sin

She’s right. I would know. It shouldn’t be this hard. I shouldn’t even question it.

With you, I’m alive

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X gave me a choice. She asked if I would date a musician or a photographer. I picked the photographer because photography resonates more with me. I was never a musical person to begin with, anyway

Then, she told me to pick between a writer and a photographer. I was stuck for a really long time but I picked the writer eventually.

When a writer loves you, you never die; you’ll live on in his or her words; their words immortalize you.

And I’ll try my best to keep you alive with what little capacity of a writer I have in me.

I think we better go

I’m not ready. I can see it through my thoughts. You don’t deserve this, none of you do.

Someone who isn’t ready to swim but pulling everyone else under water with her. Was it because she didn’t want to drown alone? Everyone’s so happy; going into the water that they forgot about their impending doom because her happiness is all they care about

They forgot. And she didn’t care. She only cared about herself. Damaged or just selfish, you ask? You don’t need to know. I’d say it’s because she doesn’t want to care anymore. So sick of sparing a thought for others who don’t spare a thought for themselves.

I bought a new poetry book, you guys, but I have to wait till May to read it so may May come quick. This month has been nothing but a chore.

Lights will guide you home

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Wanted to reduce the green but I couldn’t without the red coming out really strongly. I decided to amp up the green to make it work for me.

Both of us got enticed by the Coachella clothes in H&M. I AM SO IN LOVE WITH COACHELLA FASHION. So while wishing we were at California, we decided to do a themed shoot. It was pretty spontaneous because Yuanyi thought we could do a shoot with the flowers she got me for my graduation. Thanks to her OCD (Virgos…), we did some heavy prepping! From curling our hairs for each other to putting on flash tattoos. Both of us who aren’t that much into Indie music, turned on songs by The 1975 while getting ready just to get some of the vibes because it’s an Indie music festival. 

And that made me fall in love with the band. I saw Claire Marshall’s snaps of them today.

The thing about self shoots are that most of the time, you won’t know if the pictures are blurred (no thanks to our dslr’s little lcd screens). The composition takes a hit too because although we can move ourselves, we cannot control the external environment, like who appears behind us and everything. So that’s annoying.

More soon.

Robbers, Chocolate and Girls by The 1975.

The Sunday Currently Vol. 20

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R e a d i n g
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Before that was Lang Leav’s Memories which was mostly a collection of poems from the previous books (WHY).

L i s t e n i n g
Once in a lifetime love by Andrew Rayel, Nicky Romero’s live at ultra 2015, spotify’s fresh edm playlist. It’s a head bouncing, heart pounding, walking fast week.

T h i n k i n g
How fragile relationships are. How the person you start to trust can turn out to be lying. How this person you painted a perfect picture of in your head, turns out to be of no substance. He showed you an empty shell when you thought you got the pearl as well. Why do humans suck.

W i s h i n g
I can rot in cafes for the rest of my life with my mac. I just want to edit my photos and write all day. I can’t write well, though, so life doesn’t work out so easily.

L o v i n g
Pacamara’s cold brew tea and Old Hen’s cold brew coffee.

H a t i n g
THE LANEIGE SLEEPING LIP MASK. It worked the first few times but now when I put it on, I can feel the stinging sensation the next morning. Are my lips too moisturized? It’s like, how your body wrinkles after spending too much time in the water. Okay if that’s the case, I don’t think I’d hate it but my lips feel flaky.

W a n t i n g

  1. A mouthful of forevers by Clementine von Radics
  2. Whisky, words and a Shovel by R.H. Sin
  3. Salt by Nayyirah Waheed

Yep, poetry books.

F e e l i n g
Weirdly courageous. Let’s do or die.

W a t c h i n g
Descendants of the Sun. Couldn’t wait for it to be complete in time; I just had to get onto the hype. I won’t be rushing the episodes through since I’m watching it with a friend. I think I’ll need to start on another series to kill time at work.

M i s s i n g
What am I missing this week.. Hmm, phone calls was the first thing that popped up in my head, I don’t know why.