Fate

Everything is perfect. It's how you make it out to be.

3 shades (part 1)

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Jo and I was free but Jacq had to work so instead of wasting the day away (I finished my essay) we decided to go and take photos! I requested for a place with many white walls and he brought me there. There were marbled floors too! The first thing he said to me was “Please wear nicer.” I look like a princess even in fbts, okay?

Both of us brought our 700Ds and 50mms. Jo brought his kit lens too. The colours of our clothes matched as well. I said we are twinsies but he said he and Ash are already twins. Ash and I just got attached last Christmas so we can just just be twinsies in laws OR TRIPLETS. I am twins with a lot of people. Just realizing this. I am a twin whore.

After seeing how my calves hang off my bones in the photo (what a way to describe) on the ledge, I immediately added legs to my workout routine. Not running because I hate it. You don’t even need to feel my legs to see that they are light years away from being toned. I have tiny wrists so my watches never sit right. My hair was nice. I would usually like my hair to hide my face in portraits but Jo said that because the background was black, there wasn’t much of a contrast (I don’t have that much skin to expose either). I don’t really like my side profile.

I’m not into architecture photography but there was this pretty fountain at stop no. 2 so I maxed out the shutter speed and loved loved loved the photos I took.

I have more! They were already filtered by Jo before uploading so selecting them was fuss free.

I always thought people were selfish for not putting a location tag on their photos because good things have to be shared. I understood for the first time that these places should be kept quiet because never would those photos be taken if 1000 people are walking around and just destroying the serenity of this place. Hmm, I don’t know. The location of this shoot is pretty obvious.

Wait for part 2! Yep, more of me because it’s a meal. Not a feast for the eyes but at least a meal, haha. Or an appetizer.

Written by Denise

April 17, 2015 at 4:18 pm

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It’s done

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I finished my essay mid afternoon on Sunday like I said I would. One is because I hate the last minute pressure and I definitely do not work well under it. Two, I want to mass send to my friends to vet it for me. I procrastinate but it’s usually like the week before where I still have time to have a 4 hour nap in between writing or go website hopping.

Javis is my number 1 editor of my essays. Any essay that went through him got me an A (and I just fail at the other parts so that explains the grades). So I have deduced that I do come out with very good points but I suck at transferring them into words and I suck even more at academic writing. I send emails with a smiley face and end of with a Thank You instead of Yours Sincerely because how sincere are we, to say the truth. Thankful for Janelle too because she helps me write formal emails when needed and she is the queen of formal writing (and complain letters. I have been and still am amazed).

Jo and I went around City Hall to find white places to take pictures and because I requested for white spaces. Waiting for the pictures to be uploaded into dropbox. I have so many photos to put up here and that means to edit. I dare not open them because I dread the editing process. Especially the picnic with Mandy. I know there are tons of good pictures that I would want to put up here but I don’t want to open them to view because I might be editing 50 of them. I don’t have much time too so the pictures here recently (all of my wonderful faces) were edited with the phone.

Feeling good about this essay. Thank you to those who have read or are going to read my essay for me!

Written by Denise

April 13, 2015 at 11:50 pm

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The Sunday Currently Vol. 1

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Starting this new Sunday series because I have been actively trying to write on Sundays, which is bad because it is only on Sundays. With this, it blocks out the Sundays because who would want to read two posts in a day. I do want to write on the other days but I am struggling with my quiz and essays. The discipline it took to use the computer only for work is on another level (sounding like a Kardashian). I do do the occasional surfing of the web while writing the essay but a lot lesser because I am really worried for my marks for this semester. Lets start!

I would still be continuing my Talk About! Just not as often because I am not interesting as I think I am. Yep, I.

R e a d i n g
One Day by David Nichols. I got it at a steal for only $4. It did not hook me as much as I thought it would. Probably because I have seen the film adaptation and no book interests me after The Night Circus.

W r i t i n g
My essay on whether meta-theorists serve anything in Psychology. They don’t and their existence bothers me. I’m doing better than I expected. Please let this be the last essay in my life for awhile.

L i s t e n i n g
See You Again by Wiz Khalifa feat. Charlie Puth. I did not listen to this song because of Paul Walker. I’ve never watched any of the Fast and Furious series, to say the truth and I am not going to pretend I did. The cinema plays some songs to occupy you when you go in way too early like I always do. Charlie’s voice is captivating and after more research, I found out that it is tribute. The month of March was all about death for me and this is probably the first song that got me on the verge of tears.

T h i n k i n g
March was a dark month because of the funerals I had to attend. I cried for the three people that left this world. I never want to do this again.

S m e l l i n g
No smells. The air is clean.

W i s h i n g
That I did not have that many events planned this week but I do. AND that I did not update to iOS 8.3.

H o p i n g
That I will complete my essay by today

W e a r i n g
My super cute carebear nightgown with the most comfy pyjamas pants from Uniqlo. I got it for 50% off because it was in the defect section for not having a matching top. I don’t need that.

L o v i n g
Grapefruit juice. Drowning in all the vitamins.

W a n t i n g
For next week to be here because I am going to Beauty and the Beast musical with Javis and K-Drama OST night with Yuanyi. April is the best month so far.

N e e d i n g 
My sister to get back from tuition and read my essay.

F e e l i n g
Alright. Just alright from thinking about March.

C l i c k i n g
Microsoft Word, blog surfing.

My favourite chiffon top. I hate chiffon but I love the design. It drops off at the shoulders but have two straps to hold it up. It’s loose fitting. It has long sleeves but because it is chiffon, it is breathable.

Written by Denise

April 12, 2015 at 12:24 pm

Sunday, Bunday

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Got my first Hollister t-shirt from Javis. He said it is cheap in Taiwan. His idea of cheap is SGD $40. He went shopping for me again and I love every single piece he got this time. Previously, he wanted to change my entire style and that didn’t cut it out for me. His mom got me a Neogence facial cleansing brush. It’s Hello Kitty themed and a few people popped into my mind who would definitely love it. I wanted a cleansing brush and Clarisonic is I-need-to-sell-my-limbs expensive so that was on the wishlist (term for never ever going to get it). It’s not needed, definitely. I use my hands all the time and cleansing my face is part of my shower routine. I do not understand how and why people would wash their face over the sink twice a day. I only do that when I apply my clay mask (Innisfree Volcanic, still using it, still loving it). The water just flows down your arm and that bugs the hell out of me. It’s a luxury item and a special gift so I’m trying to use it at least 2-3 times a week. 

 One of my kids had a birthday party last week and his parents prepared food and drinks. I got the leftover yakult (lucky me) and it has been a daily routine. 

I finished the last one today.

I felt bad towards Javis on a previous date (I made him buy me this Taiwan chicken snack when he was expecting me to pay for it myself) so this time I bought the movie tickets for us. He didn’t know which film I got but he guessed it along the way. I surprised him with his favourite cookies too because he said he was craving for it earlier this morning. Made a little card on the bus in under 2 minutes and that resulted in bad handwriting but I got my apology across which is the important point. 

I just added the link to my Dayre under Links if you are interested. Of course you are interested, pssh. 

It’s the mom’s birthday on the 4th. She hasn’t aged in over 20 years. She is proud and aware of it. Yep, that’s where the confidence trait came from. 

I am hooked onto Kritika so that will explain the lack of updates on my social media. Compulsive gamer for the role-playing kinds since, whatever the age it is that I started playing Pokemon, probably 8/9. I was addicted to my Digivice at 10 (fun fact). Until next time.

Written by Denise

April 5, 2015 at 2:03 am

Remembering Lee Kuan Yew

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I finally have some time to put down my thoughts on this matter. I was so afraid I was going to do badly for my quiz I stopped myself from using the laptop for over a week. I wanted to do it on Dayre because sweeping thoughts of mine end up there. But this, is not a sweeping thought, so here I am.

I saw Mr Lee Kuan Yew on 25th July 2010. I was at Marina Barrage having a picnic with my family and he was having a look around. He was surrounded by so many people, bodyguards, if you’d like. I was an arm’s length away from the most powerful man in Singapore.  He waved back at all of us who waved at him, giving us smiles. Should I have asked for a picture then? I wish I had. It would be too audacious of me but it also would have been a life time opportunity. This thought only hit me after I was watching all the documentaries about him and this man gathered up the courage to ask him for an autograph. I should have done that too. Maybe an autograph.

My mom has been crying over his death since the hacked website stating false information that he has passed away. CNA reported it so my mom thought it was true. My mom is a rock hard woman and I am watching her cry for the second event this year.

I stayed at home on Monday to study. I switched on the television and it was already on CNA. I kept watching documentaries after documentaries on all that he did. I brushed social studies aside because I never thought learning history would be of any importance to me. It was just a side subject in primary school. I learnt so much the past few days. I learnt about why he wanted to lead Singaporeans to a better life, I learnt about the merger, I learnt about the fall of the merger, I learnt how he had to fight for this tiny little country when nobody wanted us. We were forced to be independent. I saw how much he defended us from brainless communists parties. I dare not fathom the future now if he had lost his position to them.

I wouldn’t say I cried a lot because I do not belong to the older generation who actually witnessed all the changes since 1965. What I experienced was an era coming to an end. I was lucky. I teared because I finally know all that he did and I acknowledge and am ever so grateful for what he has done for us. I found myself being thankful for the bilingualism policy because I speak both languages. Not well, but adequate. People say dialects are dying out because he pushed for mandarin. You could pick up any language through hard work; he showed that it is possible. I saw him giving his first chinese speech today and I was in awe. STUDIED CHINESE FOR 10 YEARS AND I CAN NEVER SPEAK THAT WELL.

Yijun and I went to pay our respects at the Parliament House on Wednesday morning, the first day the public is allowed to enter. We wanted to reach at 10 but we had to buy flowers first. I decided on lilies because they are flowers for mourning. I judged the current workforce generation just buying a small gerbera. I felt that tiny daisy wasn’t enough and he deserved more. Then again, who am I to dictate what flower people should or should not buy. At least the idea of bringing a flower is there. We joined the queue at 11.20. Within seconds another 100 people were lining up behind us. We were ready.

I didn’t have breakfast because I was expecting it to be over by 1pm. I was so so wrong. We even brought out laptops and textbooks along so we could study afterwards. Within an hour when we were queuing in the underpass, the amount of people, the shortage of oxygen, the lack of food, low blood pressure, I started losing my hearing and I got more and more annoyed at everybody’s chattering. These are the signs that I am going to faint. I forgot I can’t stand for long periods of time. I couldn’t carry my bag and I had to drag it whenever we moved. Yijun got so worried so she went to buy me some food. I felt a bit better when we were out of the underpass and the wind started blowing really strongly. I could breathe so much better. Afterwards, Yijun carried both my bag and hers. She had to leave me again because I needed sugar water so she went to find a 7-11. That was the worst. Everything got so bright. I was seeing the world in contrast and it hurt. I didn’t have my phone because it was in my bag with Yijun. I was so sure I was going to give up but I carried on walking. If I lose my spot, Yijun will lose hers too. I kept squatting down when the line came to a stop. People with low blood pressure shouldn’t be doing all these jerking movements but I couldn’t keep standing up. Yijun came back with Sprite and Coke. People around us were giving us cardboards and bottles of water. I was thankful. I started getting better after the drinks and carried Yijun’s bag. She was still carrying my bag with my textbook and her laptop. We took turns to rest. Joseph came by to find us during his break. We were almost at the Asian Civilisation Museum. Along the way, ushers tried to chase us out of the queue by exaggerating the hours it will take us. So glad none of us, well, in my visual space, decided to leave. There were people who cut queue as well and usually in front of Yijun and I. Probably because they think we are young therefore, pushovers. A couple of aunties behind chased them off. We made friends with the people around us. We reached the Parliament house and it was 4pm. The wrapping of our lilies were really crumpled by then. We were sad we didn’t get to place it near the casket but procedures have to be followed. We walked passed the casket in a line. We bowed and wanted to bow some more. This aunty kept bowing so I stayed behind her so I could have a few more seconds. The usher kept pushing us to move so we did. Everything was so rushed I felt that we weren’t able to gather our emotions. It took less than 10 seconds. Still, I was happy we completed the journey and did what we had to do. We are grateful we decided to go on the first day thinking even though it might be the worst, we will still stand strong. Turned out the other days were so much worse. Our queues were not as organised but I was thankful because we weren’t just kept in the Padang area but we had to snake around Raffles Place. It was an experience. Yijun kept saying, “Our 4.5 hours of wait is nothing compared to his lifetime of hard work and dedication for us.” It didn’t go smoothly but it was worth it. I felt that it was the least I could do. I know he knows the effort we made.

My mother went the next day and she had to wait for 5 hours. My sister went yesterday and waited 6 hours even after joining a shorter queue. My brother went too late and the queue was suspended so he made his way to Tanjong Pagar. My father went to four different community centers to pay his respects.

I want to thank the SAF for taking their time to usher us, carting the flowers too and fro, handing out the cards for us to write on, passing out water. I felt people overlook their efforts because they are not doing voluntary work, it’s like, they are supposed to be doing this. Thank you all for the hard work.

I saw a tweet which annoyed me. “It’s weird those who used to complain about Singapore all the time, are so patriotic now”. I find no wrong in people becoming patriotic because of this episode. I get that it seems like hypocrisy but I don’t think they gained anything from being proud of Singapore. It’s a good thing that more people are feeling proud of their homeland. For some, they simply need the tragic event to happen to realize how much they love Lee Kuan Yew. The outcomes are good so what is with the skepticism. I don’t think Singaporeans would think it is a trendy to go and have 4-6 hours of their time wasted, they genuinely wanted to pay respects. Even drafting out a “fake” caption for such a great man needs a bit of belief.

To the Singaporeans who tried to make money out of this tragedy, I wish I have the ability to cuss but I don’t so, I hope this shameful act haunt you for the rest of your life.

I’m done here.

Written by Denise

March 29, 2015 at 1:10 am

Talk about 15

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Talk about the time you were most content in life.

It would be now. Not nitpicking on anything at the moment. I don’t expect much out of life so it has been content for a really long time now. I have everything I need right now.

Although to go to the other side of this topic, I did feel completely dissatisfied with the way I was spending my summer break. I had fun but I wasn’t doing anything completely productive. Then, I saw a quote yesterday,

Time you enjoyed wasting is not wasted.

I felt so so much better about the break. I did not earn as much money as I wanted but how I spent my days at home are days I wouldn’t trade. I indulged in all that made me happy and ceased those that didn’t. I did nothing much in the form of monetary pleasure because I was mostly relying on my allowance and abit of part time pay. I found joy in things that didn’t require me burning a hole in my pocket and I am glad.

Being so contented makes me the least motivated person in the world.

Written by Denise

March 22, 2015 at 11:21 am

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Black meets red

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The look for Corinne’s birthday party yesterday! We were told to either be in all black or white! I wanted to be in white but I didn’t want to use the new dress I bought and I didn’t have anything else so, I pulled something together at the last minute! The whole black ensemble made me want to go with a red lip. I wanted to put hair spray like how I would usually style it then my hair was being really nice in a flat way. I don’t like it when my hair becomes flat but it gave off a different vibe then (like Yura’s hair). Absolutely loving the colour of my hair. It’s 1/3 black because of the roots and the line between the colours are not too stark like how dip-dyes would look like. It’s a gradual colour.

예쁘다, yes, I am talking about me, HAHA! Don’t expose me, Janelle (who is sending me all her snapchats of her in Korea omg. SHE FORCED ME TO REVIVE MY SNAPCHAT)

I watched the last episode of Jjongah couple and Namyoung couple. Jjongah’s was too abrupt and I hated it. I hated that they (and me) didn’t have time to soak in the fact that their pretend marriage is over. Namyoung’s one made my eyes water. After they knew they are ending, they had to go through with their wedding photoshoot. They had time to relive the memories and soak up the reality.

I remembered I was super annoyed with X when she said WGM is scripted and fake; they are all acting. It is a fact that it is a pretend marriage but the feelings and everything was pure! I don’t think there is much to act about. It’s not like they fell for each other. They ARE supposed to treat each other like they are married. When people make you feel naive for liking something, that is horrible. You can choose not to believe it but you don’t pressure me into feeling the same, you know.

I want to start on a new series but I think I should start on my essay first.

Written by Denise

March 15, 2015 at 3:08 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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