I was in my supervisor’s car and we were talking about family violence a few weeks ago. He told me that if the husband hits the wife and the wife comes to seek help, they usually would not take the option of leaving and would rather the social workers help the husband instead.
They don’t take the leaving option because they are afraid of the unknown. Everybody is, if you realised. If they take the choice of leaving the husband, they do not know what’s in store for them. You can tell her “You won’t get abused anymore.”, “You will meet a better person.” but you can never assure her that what you said will indeed happen. You don’t know. They don’t too.
So she chose to stay because, at least, the husband hitting her when he comes home drunk is definite. She knows what is going to happen and she’d rather it that way.
Everything came from my supervisor. I couldn’t help but nod in agreement while my mind started going crazy.
That’s why it’s so hard to leave a person, isn’t it? Even if you fight everyday, at least it’s something tangible you can hold on to but if you leave, you will be holding on to nothing. You don’t know what life will be without that person and that scares you.