Had this fight with my mom and I went to bathe. Then I started thinking about empathizing with people. How many people hold back from saying what they really mean because they don’t want to hurt the person.
Yaxun’s words suddenly made a lot of sense. WE EMPATHIZE AND THEN WE RESTRICT OURSELVES. We don’t say out what we really mean because we think about how that person might feel and then we just shut up. Which is just bottling up the anger I think. Most of us in PCS (maybe even HMS) are like pros in empathizing because we have plenty of modules that shape us like that or because we are those kind of people that’s why we are drawn to the courses. Unconditional positive regard and empathy is like needed in counselling. We think for people until we lose ourselves a little bit. Walking a mile or longer in someone’s shoes, you might end up forgetting to wear your own. Then you wear 5000 shoes and omg, you think for 5000 people. How tiring is that!
Then there are people who have like 0 empathy and we dislike them because they can’t think for others at all (I can’t stand it too sometimes and I think why must that person be so not understanding). But for some, we think that they are real. Real that they dare to express their thoughts. Where is the line? It’s so thin. Are we unable to stand a person because we just don’t like them as a whole and we just decide to label that person as less understanding because they already have 1000 qualities that you hate that 1 more is nothing much?
Just because your empathizing level is like 5000 doesn’t make you a saint. I’m not saying thinking for others is a bad thing but too much? You are just restricting yourself from things you want to say. How many times do you go, “X is so annoying. Why can’t she just go along with the rest of us?” or “Omg, only know how to complain about people.” but you just don’t say it out because you don’t want to hurt her or don’t want to destroy the friendship or you empathize. It’s just going to be pent up anger. You will remember all these tiny details and talk about it to someone else later on. But the fact remains that it is you who thought of those words. Doesn’t matter if you don’t say it out. Not saying it out doesn’t mean you never thought of bad stuff. But hmm, sometimes you just let things go because they just don’t get to you. You can’t let everything go, of course.
Sometimes I admire people who dare to get angry and post their evil thoughts on twitter but sometimes, I just think they are just plain mean. And don’t say you never had these kind of thoughts because most of us do.
Everything needs a balance. You empathize too much you are judged for not being real enough, you empathize too little and people says you are mean and not nice. I don’t know where I am going with this post. Maybe you have thoughts that are different and think I am wrong but these thought just just shrouding my mind at the moment. So messy.
Social media has become a platform for stalking and finding out what kind of a person someone is. Nobody likes bad impressions to be formed of them so they hide it. Judging negatively is what humans do best. If you appreciate Japanese manga or anime (besides Naruto, One piece or Bleach) people will think you are some closet pervert. Oh, half a closet now because someone thinks you are one.