2012 ❉ ❉ ❉

Photobucket

Photobucket
Some pictures if you guys get bored of my words.

I have to get this post ready for to pop out on 23.59. TCM (I am not even done, oh gosh), reflection and the other evil things will have to be compromised! I am not sorry.

This year has got to be my favourite year! :) ‘cos I got together with someone, *cough* Javis *cough* Lol. It has been a really amazing roller coaster ride of emotions! I didn’t mean that in a sarcastic way! In 2011 I was enjoying my freedom, speaking bad about love, almost never sad and almost never ecstatically happy, I guess. This year, it was experiencing tears of joy, tears of heart break, feeling ashamed I have disappointed people, happy, laughing like mad at simple things like thumb wars on the bus rides, I’m team Love now and actually enjoying being tied down. I get to do things for that special someone and being surprised by the huge things he does for me. I get to experience emotions I haven’t felt for a long time. I felt alive. For a long time I didn’t want to leave my lovely space of consistency. I’ve hurt many people to protect myself.  Javis led me out of it even after he was battered and bruised, haha. Of course, a huge step was also my choice to want to step out or not. It’s one of the best decisions I ever made. Sometimes things happen and make me feel a teensy bit regretful of why I made it but I know it’s going to be worth it in the end.

My mom saw my dream journal and asked, “Are you sure you are going to love her forever” then I said, “Yes, mom.” 

Internship happened and I think it’s an enriching and awesome experience to step inside the world of social workers, a path I might walk down. It was so much exposure that I am still debating whether it is good or bad. It scares me with the amount of work to be done and whether I am able to help them but I also saw a side of Singaporeans I have never seen in my life. It makes me want to serve them more and improve their lives. It goes on until my self esteem gets the better of me and I think “I will never be able to do that. My cases might drag for a many years.” 4 months with Janelle was amazing as well. I found a friend and we have been close ever since. I like that I can make her laugh too ;)

I continued to be closer to my already best friends :)

Frankly, I am absolutely scared of 2013. I can’t predict what is going to happen and it’s not going to be same as 12 years of my schooling life. I have to make choices. Am I going to work for a year? Work a bit then go into a University? What if I start working then I start to give up on education (omg, that can’t happen)? What happens if I send in all the application forms and it comes back rejected. Writing all these is getting me angry over the education system. Some of us have passion in some of the courses but we can’t make it because our the GPA. This is supposed to be a happy post. I am scared for next year. Envious of those people who has to serve bonds and go into the army. They have a few years to think of what they want to do but I have to think about it right after I graduate :( This pressure might make me dig a hole and hide inside for a few years :( James cook is an option and I can afford it but I don’t know if I want to continue doing psychology anymore :(

Ahhh thoughts for another day!

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