After talking to so many different people, I found out some things that people say that hurt others but they think that it is perfectly fine or normal. I do some of these things too because I don’t think when I talk then I regret it when I replay the memory in my head. This is just according to me okay, not the world standards, haha. HERE IS THE GUIDE TO BE NICER TO THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU.
The annoying things that people do:
- When A tells you he/she doesn’t like B, you go over to tell B.
I think this is the epitome of the devil. WHY WOULD ANYBODY LIKE TO HEAR THAT?! Is anything gained beside hearts being broken?! First you broke B’s heart then you broke A’s trust. Wow. Good going.
- You: “Why does A seem so quiet today”/”Can you not be so quiet?” when A is present.
… I absolutely hate these kind of people, lol. They think you are doing you a favour by pulling you into the spotlight but it’s kind of a negative one because then, the group will think you have some problems and they will try to dig it out of you or something. It is not and it is probably because B is being all attention seeking and annoying. People are quiet because it is awkward and uncomfortable and with B bringing them out into the spotlight is just insensitive and rude. Plus being a major showoff because she sets this comparison like, “oh a lot of people has bothered about me so I should give some attention to A.” WE DON’T NEED YOU. IT SEEMS NICE BUT IT IS NOT. THESE PEOPLE HAVE THE LOWEST EQ OF ALL. I have been a A and just a person in a group. At least I had the decency of not making A wear the awkward turtle suit.
- Talking over A by raising your voice
You are just rude and being self centered. Let it not be you for once. A probably hasn’t talked much but you keep wanting to bring the conversation to yourself. Your problems are not the only ones in the world so just shut up for 5 minutes.
- Just talking about yourself
I get it that it kills the silence but these conversations are by far the most unfulfilling conversations I have ever had. I don’t mind listening but I don’t mind leaving as well. A good conversation is supposed to be like badminton and not squash.
- A bragging about him/herself
This is different from the point above. It strains my brain having to think of encouraging comments because it is going to seem repetitive but A is never going to notice because the ego has blocked their ears. I’m not talking about people who have the “If you have it, flaunt it.” attitude. These people don’t have it and try to squeeze every little thing they can brag about all the time because they have the need to feel great. I’m guessing it is low self esteem over high confidence. Confident people don’t feel the need to up themselves at every conversation piece. Details are good but you don’t need to praise yourself. Let others do the praising for you.
- Fighting when you are out with friends
At least have the decency to leave it at that until all of us leaves or go to a corner because we are all going to be uncomfortable and start talking in eye language.
- Just criticising everything
Is your life so sad that you have to pick out all the flaws that someone does and never leave one good comment? These comments are not even constructive and it not only puts A in a bad light. I’m not talking about comments to your face, it’s comments placed on social media platforms. Unless you know something, stop judging.
- 3 people groups
I have this theory. A 3 people group is never ever going to work out if A and B are closer to each other than A and C and B and C. C is just going to be left out and being left out sucks when A and B start talking in code. Talking in code = “We want you to know that we know this secret but we can’t tell you what it is.” Then C has to say the awkward sentence “What are you two talking about.” with 70% chance of hearing the reply, “Nah, it’s nothing” unless A and B has the decency to just let the entire cat out of the bag SINCE THEY ALREADY LET THE HEAD OUT. In this scenario, A and B have low EQs. Why did you bring up the code talk? Does it make you superior to C because you two share secrets? And if you do share secrets, keep it to yourself. However, it will work is A and B have extremely high EQs and make C super comfortable. These people are then, angels. Don’t make 3 people groups a thing if you can’t handle it. 3 people is definitely a crowd sometimes.
- A being pissed when they are not asked out but there is a good reason.
A, B, C and D are a group. B, C and D wants to do something like, play basketball and A hates basketball. So they go out and A starts being neurotic (extreme word but I always use sad and I want to use new words). IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE TO CALL A OUT TO PLAY BASKETBALL, AM I RIGHT? What is the point. Does it seem better if D, B and C asked for the sake of it? Get your head out of gutter, A. They didn’t ask you because they knew you wouldn’t like it and it’s also to avoid unnecessary rejections. I have always found it stupid to ask things when there is a 100% chance of getting rejected or that person feels forced.
- Hanging out in cliques/couple when you are in a big group.
Just go home, okay. It’s a group outing not a clique one or a date.
I have definitely violated some of these but I am constantly learning. This guide is to teach you to be a better friend. I swear, your friends will appreciate it a lot. People should start working on their EQs and not their IQs because it will bring you so much further in life. Getting As on your transcript is not going to get you good quality friends. Yes, I mean friends who got your back and not workmates.