I always thought that seeing the one you love die is a deterrence to actually be with someone. To love someone all your life and end up watching them leave; that finality. It’s different from seeing other generations pass. This person grew up with you. Someone said the ideal way is that the both of you pass on together but what are the odds of that happening. How can you carry on living when the one you love is no longer coming back. Ever. You’ll never see them again. Being the one to go first is scary too. You’ll see them cry. You’ll see them beg you not to leave. It’ll be the last time you’ll ever see them, too.
I’ve never been comfortable with death from the start anyway. I don’t think I’ll ever be. It’s the one thing that always irked the shit out of me; this well that I fall in from time to time.